Destroy the Roots of Shame Based Living – The Lie of Perfection

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Let’s Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living by acknowledging The Lie of Perfection.

Maybe like me, you have this nagging feeling that you are somehow defective or not enough?

Do you often think “I’m not perfect like her?”

Are you quick to compare:

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Your looks

Your body

Your husband, children, family or friends

Your home, car or possessions

Your homeschool

Your season in life

Your cooking or homemaking skills

Your career or ministry

to her “Perfect Life?”

We stuff it inside and carry our shame around like a heavy backpack.
Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living – The Lie of Perfection

While shame looks outward to define our worth, it can create a perfectionism mindset within.

For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Many of us have experienced the crushing weight of perfection. Our shame backpack is loaded with bricks, that total half of our body weight.

It’s heavy, distracting and leaves those awful red marks on our shoulders.

Unfortunately, many women never put it down. Instead, we continue to wear it and drag it around with us. It grows and strains us, increasing our struggle. Leaving much more than red marks on our shoulders.

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It can shift our thoughts and focus so that we define our own value by the Lie of perfection.

We can wear our perfectionism as a mask, creating a false sense of self. We strive to attain “picture perfect”, to the point of destroying our hearts and our relationships in the process.

Some of us may eventually learn to accept that we are not perfect, but the Lie still lingers. We project the shame of perfectionism onto our husbands, children, friends and family in many ways:

Friends, this list is mostly me. It really is. Thankfully God has been doing a work in me and I trust He is faithful to finish. He can do this heart work in you too!

When we hold onto a perfectionist mindset, we are entirely missing the fact that there is only one who is perfect. As believers, Christ’s perfection takes ALL our imperfections and washes them clean.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

Did you catch that? So that in Him we might become the righteousness of God!

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Because of Christ, we have no need to compare ourselves to other women, wear masks or hold on to perfectionism. We are free to be as God made us. Formed in His image.

He made no mistakes in creating you. He not only created you as you are, but He did it intentionally. He knit you together, fully equipped in every way, to live the life He designed you to live.


I’m asking you to join me in leaving perfectionism behind. When the thoughts come to compare yourself to another – tell them to leave!

The enemy wants to distract you from the simple fact that you have all that you need in Christ.

You don’t need the perfect body in the ad, the career, status or perfect relationship you see her in. The only thing you need is Him. He is sufficient. He is perfection in you.

Yes, the battle to Destroy The Lie of Perfection is often and hard. At least it is for me. But it is worth it! As sisters in Christ, we can encourage each other to fight against the Lie instead of each other.

It’s time to put the backpacks down ladies and pick up your shield instead.

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Join Me?

Grab your worksheet from our FREEBIES hub and don’t forget to check out the rest of the series to destroy shame for good!

Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living

Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living – The Lie of Unlovable

Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living – The Lie of Not Enough

Uproot - FREE Worksheet!

Free Printable worksheet to help you walk through the process of uprooting shame in your life now! 

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Talk to you soon,


O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life.

Lamentations 3:58

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Short on Time? Read This Later! DOWNLOAD This Post as a PDF >> CLICK HERE <<

10 thoughts on “Destroy the Roots of Shame Based Living – The Lie of Perfection”

    • Thank you so much Michelle! That sounds fantastic! It is so important for our hearts 🙂

  • This post is so good and encouraging. It reminded me of a great quote I just read today from Lisa Bevere and her most recent book, With Out Rival. She says, “Comparison is a lose-lose scenario. Either it causes you to be prideful and feel ‘better than’ others, or it results in insecurity, causing you to feel ‘less than’ those you measure yourself against. But here is the good news–WHEN YOU COMPETE WITH NO ONE, NO ONE CAN COMPETE WITH YOU.”

    • That is a fantastic quote, Jennette! Thank you so much for sharing. I need to tuck that one away in my arsenal 🙂 I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment. Have a great week!

  • Loved this: “put down the backpack and pick up the shield instead!” I am joining you as a recovering perfectionist. So often I am tempted to compare myself with others, and it’s an ugly thing. Thank you so much for reminding me that I have all I need in Christ. You are always so encouraging!
    Marisa recently posted…When Culture Defines Your MotherhoodMy Profile

    • Yes Marisa! So many of us struggle with this. I am so glad you are joining me in the battle and I’m so thankful you were encouraged to look to Christ for all! You are a blessing 🙂

    • Yes, Ciara! I pray it encourages others to fight against it as well! Thanks so much for reading 🙂

    • Yes, Wanda! A recovering perfectionist – so true. So thankful we have a God who is faithful to finish His work in us 😉

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