Let’s Destroy the Roots of Shame-Based Living by acknowledging The Lie of Perfection.
Maybe like me, you have this nagging feeling that you are somehow defective or not enough?
Do you often think “I’m not perfect like her?”
Are you quick to compare:
Your husband, children, family or friends
Your home, car or possessions
Your season in life
Your cooking or homemaking skills
Your career or ministry
to her “Perfect Life?”
We stuff it inside and carry our shame around like a heavy backpack.
While shame looks outward to define our worth, it can create a perfectionism mindset within.
For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
Many of us have experienced the crushing weight of perfection. Our shame backpack is loaded with bricks, that total half of our body weight.
It’s heavy, distracting and leaves those awful red marks on our shoulders.
Unfortunately, many women never put it down. Instead, we continue to wear it and drag it around with us. It grows and strains us, increasing our struggle. Leaving much more than red marks on our shoulders.
It can shift our thoughts and focus so that we define our own value by the Lie of perfection.
We can wear our perfectionism as a mask, creating a false sense of self. We strive to attain “picture perfect”, to the point of destroying our hearts and our relationships in the process.
Some of us may eventually learn to accept that we are not perfect, but the Lie still lingers. We project the shame of perfectionism onto our husbands, children, friends and family in many ways:
- Setting unrealistic expectations
- Putting them down
- Negative talk and complaining
- Hiding our true self by covering mistakes with lies
- The need to always be right
Friends, this list is mostly me. It really is. Thankfully God has been doing a work in me and I trust He is faithful to finish. He can do this heart work in you too!
When we hold onto a perfectionist mindset, we are entirely missing the fact that there is only one who is perfect. As believers, Christ’s perfection takes ALL our imperfections and washes them clean.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
Did you catch that? So that in Him we might become the righteousness of God!
Because of Christ, we have no need to compare ourselves to other women, wear masks or hold on to perfectionism. We are free to be as God made us. Formed in His image.
He made no mistakes in creating you. He not only created you as you are, but He did it intentionally. He knit you together, fully equipped in every way, to live the life He designed you to live.
I’m asking you to join me in leaving perfectionism behind. When the thoughts come to compare yourself to another – tell them to leave!
The enemy wants to distract you from the simple fact that you have all that you need in Christ.
You don’t need the perfect body in the ad, the career, status or perfect relationship you see her in. The only thing you need is Him. He is sufficient. He is perfection in you.
Yes, the battle to Destroy The Lie of Perfection is often and hard. At least it is for me. But it is worth it! As sisters in Christ, we can encourage each other to fight against the Lie instead of each other.
It’s time to put the backpacks down ladies and pick up your shield instead.
Grab your worksheet from our FREEBIES hub and don’t forget to check out the rest of the series to destroy shame for good!
Talk to you soon,
O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life.