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The teaching is done. The fighting is done. The correcting is done. The messes are cleaned up ..well, mostly. The constant Mommy, Mama, Mom, Mom, Mom has quieted for the night. I flop into bed and start to replay the day in my mind and my heart breaks. Did I find any way to encourage my child today?
Did I really just focus on all of the negative things ALL-DAY-LONG?
Was I really that angry, short and frustrated? (which I know is really another word for angry)
Did I even build them up at all today?
Oh Lord, please help!
He begins to pull me out of the self-focused pit. He showers His mercy, grace, and forgiveness on me once again and re-establishes my feet on the rock.
And then something beautiful happens.
He quickly floods my mind with the little, yet amazing things the kids did today– despite my behavior.
Some may seem little to me but are big to them. Some are little beginnings of bigger things and some are simply BIG things. But since life isn’t the movie Groundhog Day (yes, I’m likely dating myself), and I can’t get a “re-do”, what do I do?
How do I encourage my child?
Out of some of my worst parenting days, God has grown in me a deeper love and passion for encouraging my children. I can see more clearly the eternal impact of building them up as we are called to in scripture.
As a steward of these children given for a time, it is my responsibility to make every effort to do just that….. even on those days when I just want to “make it” to bedtime.
1 Simple And Powerful Way To Encourage Your Child
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. Romans 14:19
Edify- to teach (someone) in a way that improves the mind or character – to build or establish
Over the years we have come to enjoy our “Bedtime Notes”. It’s simple and fast, but it encourages my kiddos in a BIG way. When they are asleep, I tuck an encouraging note under their pillow.
It’s seriously my favorite – it makes me smile just typing it!
How to praise a child with words
What can I say to encourage my child? I write something I want them to know and something I am proud of them for.
10 positive things to say to your child
I love you so much, no matter what!
- God loves you unconditionally
- You are SO precious to God
- You were such a big help to me today!
- I can tell (or I heard) how hard you worked on schoolwork today
- That must have been so hard to have self-control when___. I am so proud of you!
- I appreciate how hard it was for you to be diligent in ____
- You are such a blessing to our family
- I am so thankful for you
- I loved watching you enjoy your time spent_______
- I love watching you grow into the young man/woman God created you to be!
And confession time – many days I do the above and I ask for their forgiveness. Taking the time to acknowledge my wrongs, that I may not have earlier.
I realized quickly how much they look forward to these notes. Even the ones that couldn’t read yet on their own enjoyed them.
They share them with each other. They save them in their memory boxes (even my teenagers). They look back at them on hard days.
The way you talk to your child matters. And because we all mess up, writing encouraging notes helps to “reset” and communicate clearly. It is a way for them to start their day right and it continually builds connectedness within our family.
How often do I need to encourage my child?
There are times where I have written the bedtime notes nightly and some seasons where it’s a couple of times a week. But at a minimum, I write encouraging notes to my children once each week. I make sure to take this extra step to praise them in this way and it has been so worth it!
Yes, I still have “those nights” and plenty of #MomGuilt to submit, but what God has brought out of that is something we can cherish for years to come.
Would you like to join me in encouraging your kids this way?
Join our FREEBIES Hub to download one of the note pages I’ve used to write our Bedtime Notes and lots of other resources to build your children up!
Are you looking for other ways to encourage and motivate your kids?
We’ve also worked on building each other up through the Mums Kids Jesus Cultivate Love Challenge! This free resource has 50+ ideas and includes planners and printables to help you cultivate love in your family and it’s totally free! It’s such a blessing to watch our family come together and build each other up in new ways. I encourage you to check it out?
So now that you’re thinking about it, what’s that thing you do that I really should try??
Please comment below and let me know!
Talk to you soon,
O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul;
You have redeemed my life.