How to Raise Godly Women Who Have No Regrets: 4 Truths to Guide My Tweens
This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy for more info.
I have a confession to make: I’m in love with the tween years.
Call me crazy, but this little space in time between approximately age 9 and 12, it’s simply unique and I find something new to adore about my daughters almost every day.
But oh, the hormones! The emotions! The girl drama! You say.
Yes, there’s that to contend with whether they’re ten or three!
But there’s also the logic, the wit, the contagious optimism and their ability to express themselves in so many creative ways. And as they explore who they are, I see a glimpse of the women my daughters will someday become.
Truly, how we approach this stage matters. If we choose to focus on the negative, our relationship with them will likely reflect our anxious heart.
There is a great opportunity we have during this stage to build into the self-concept of our girls. Think about it: they still (mostly) value our opinions; they WANT to spend time with us and love sharing their hearts. And for the time being: they’re all ours!
I believe we have every reason to seize this season and communicate to our daughters their true identity in Christ before someone else convinces them otherwise.
This is the foundation I pray their self-concept and future-shaping choices will rest upon – the knowledge of their inherent worth to their Creator.
Becoming Godly Women, without Regrets: 4 Truths to Guide My Tweens
#1. Your body is not your own.
While the world shouts, “my body, my choice”, we have a much higher standard to live by as daughters of the King. Our bodies and our souls – everything we’re made of, was bought and paid for with the blood of Jesus. We belong to Him and our choices should reflect His holy nature.
In light of this knowledge, how we treat our bodies matters greatly. Strive to honor God in all areas of your life, your health and in the physical boundaries, you keep in your relationships.
One day, marriage may be a part of God’s plan for you, and your body will then also belong to your husband. This is meant to be a beautiful reflection of your relationship with Christ.
But until then, no one else has any rights to your body. Make the decision to honor your future husband and protect that relationship, by the way, you live your life today.
#2. Your decisions ARE your own.
We have the choice to make to follow God each day, or not to. From the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, the social media we absorb and the friends we choose – these seemingly small decisions will affect us and others around us in some way.
And these decisions come with consequences, some greater than others.
As you study the Bible, always think about how you can apply this knowledge and turn it into wisdom. Wisdom is what gives us the ability to decide between difficult choices and to face temptation with confidence.
God wants to be a part of your everyday life. When you make it a habit to involve Him in the small choices today, the bigger, tougher choices will be much easier to make later on.
#3. Forgiveness is for all.
We all fail at some point in following God and his perfect plan for our life. The Old Testament shows us how no one was able to follow God’s commands exactly, each and every time, because of their sin nature.
This is why Jesus chose to die for us. His perfect sacrifice was the only way we could have a relationship with a holy, perfect God.
Aren’t you thankful for forgiveness? We all should be, and this gratefulness should bubble over into everything we do in our lives, especially in how we treat others. If we can learn to be forgiving it will save us so much heartache because people will eventually fail us just as we fail God over and over.
And in this same way, He continues to forgive us when we ask with a repentant heart. That’s the beauty of grace – not that we should ever take it for granted, but to accept that HE accepts us just as we are.
Knowing God’s perfect love covers our sins allows us to see our mistakes as opportunities for growth. Realizing our failures teaches us humility and helps us to better understand our need for God.
#4. Your words matter.
Can you think of a time a friend said something that was really hurtful? Maybe you overhead a group of friends talking about you when they thought you weren’t listening. It’s so disappointing when you trust someone with your friendship and they use their words to wound you.
There are many people suffering from the memory of someone else’s careless words. It can affect their ability to make good choices and see their own worth, even years after the offense.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”, so weigh your words carefully!
Even a comment made sarcastically and meant to be funny might not be received that way by another person at all. When in doubt, choose encouraging words or no words at all.
Desire to be a person who builds up, supports and inspires others. In a culture that feeds on negativity and gossip, your life-giving words can make a powerful impact on those around you.
#5. Love transforms
Understanding God’s pure, unselfish, unconditional love changes the way we view the world and our relationships. We can love others in a better way when we see them through God’s eyes.
This type of love is an action, and it often involves putting other people’s needs before our own. Keep this in mind whenever the world defines love as everything else BUT this.
The love of Jesus and the promise we have of eternity puts our day to day struggles into perspective. The hard things we face in this life will someday be a distant memory, but God’s love is the constant, unchanging promise we can hold on to as Believers.
If you’re a mom parenting girls “in between”, know that you’re not alone if you feel overwhelmed in communicating these truths to your daughters. Raising godly girls is no easy task, but God will equip us for every stage of parenting if we trust Him in this!
I pray that you too can embrace the tween years as you guide your girls to become women who strive to live for Christ, boldly and without regrets.
FOR THE BOY MOM
Peer pressure is one of the hardest things for our boys to deal with – image and friendships mean so much at this age since these are markers they use to help define their own identity. Going against the grain is social suicide in some cases and yet, this willingness to be different is exactly what God calls us to as believers.
Join Sara Payne of Uncommon Grace as she unpacks important truths about Raising Godly Boys Who Aren’t Afraid to Be DIFFERENT from the Crowd!
∞ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ∞
Brandi is mom to 3 girls and 1 boy (ages 2-12) and blogs at Chicken Scratch Diaries where she provides Practical Tools and Inspiration for the Modern Weary Mom. She also serves as Executive Director of a Pregnancy Resource Center which mentors women and empowers them to choose life for their unborn babies. She would love for you to become part of the Chicken Scratch community and connect with her on Facebook!