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Not a topic that is comfortable. We don’t like to talk about it. It’s kept on the ‘down-low’. We don’t know how to talk about it! If we don’t talk about it, then it doesn’t exist. Then it’s not a threat.
Until it is.
If I could turn the hands of time back, I would’ve done things differently. I would’ve prepared myself in my response to pornography. My family would’ve been saved from great heartache.
But since I can’t do that, I hope and pray that what I have learned will help you to prepare yourself and your children for this battle. Here are 3 Things You Need to Know About Pornography and Your Child.
If our goal is to Raise Godly Girls, then we need to be educated about pornography. We can’t afford to be naive or ignorant. Friends, we need to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and take charge. Take charge of the hearts of our girls. We must pick up our sword and fight for their hearts! And when we look at the Proverbs 31 woman and read that “she rises while it is still night”, we come to understand that this verse is not talking about getting out of bed. It’s talking about being valiant and fighting a spiritual battle for our children and our family!
Our Children Have An Enemy
I always knew the Satan targets our kids – boys and girls. I always knew that he loves to destroy children – because if he can destroy them now, then it will be that much easier to debilitate them as adults. And he will do what he can to annihilate them. I know this might sound ‘over-the-top’ for some of you. You might think I am over-reacting. I wish that I was. However, I know from my own story of childhood sexual abuse that the enemy is hell-bent on destruction – complete, and utter obliteration. And if our guards are down – like mine was – then we are easy pickings for him.
When I say my guard was down, I am meaning that I did not even think that porn would be a problem in our home because our home was filled with the gospel and biblical teaching. Almost every aspect of our homeschool incorporated theology or Bible-based lessons. Any time there was an issue, we’d stop and pray about it. Now, I wasn’t prideful or boastful in this, I just knew we infused Jesus into our lives very well.
I just missed something key to this porn problem. I missed the fact that Satan deliberately targets children with porn.
Fact #1: Satan targets our children in order to destroy them.
*Targets for porn are not just boys. Girls are targeted as well and just as much. To Raise Godly Girls means that we must be aware of this truth.
The Unsuspecting Attack
Recently, our family watched the Kyle Idleman series “Gods At War” on RightNow Media. One god that was mentioned was the god of self. The guy Kyle had on to share his story talked about how he got caught up in the porn industry. He’d take the photos – and possibly videos – and he’d earn a ton of money. The thing that struck me was the fact that he would deliberately target Christian men with his links. He would find Christian men online and make sure they were a target for his pornography.
This confirmed my thoughts on this – that the porn industry targets groups of people. Including children. Especially children. Because they don’t care. All they care about is money.
My oldest daughter is on social media and she has informed me that she’s received links and ‘shares’ that lead to porn sites. To Raise Godly Girls means that we must teach our girls to be discerning while on social media.
Just a few weeks ago, I took a photo of my son playing guitar and posted it on Instagram. My hashtags were #rockon #bringbackguitarsolos and #handsomeguy. When I looked to see who ‘liked’ it, I noticed someone I didn’t know interacted with it. I clicked the link and I was directed to an Instagram account that was full of scantily clad women in explicit positions. This is extremely dangerous and an obvious target of my son! Anyone can click on a person’s IG account and if it is public, you can see everything there. And that is what happened in this case.
Fact #2: The porn industry targets our children specifically.
The Trap is Set
I wish I’d known how easy it was for our children to get caught in that trap. They innocently click a link – even though I’ve taught them not to! And they are taken to a place online that they never intended to visit. They are sucked into that downward spiral.
Most of the time, kids come across Internet porn by ‘accident’ – meaning they weren’t searching for it. Satan set a trap for them and they walked right into it, not knowing what they were walking into. And it is instant. Suddenly, these images and videos are before their precious eyes. And they don’t know how to escape.
Shame is placed upon them. The addiction is set in motion. They are trapped.
And all it took was one, little click.
Fact #3: Most of the time, our kids are not looking for porn. They stumble across it by mistake.
How Can I Protect My Daughter?
I wish I was more preventative in nature with this whole devious and evil porn scheme. Honestly, I thought I was already doing a good job. But because I missed that key point, our family fell into the trap of porn. Here is what I would’ve done differently:
I wish I had done a better job in teaching my kids what porn is and how destructive it is. Even as young as age 8 and 9. If they are on the Internet at all, our kids need to understand the dangers. Of course, the details of what porn is ought to be tailored to the child’s age. For a younger child, I would simply explain that there are bad people on the Internet who like to show pictures of naked people. With older children, I would be pretty frank in these discussions. Currently, and the threat of porn “everywhere”, we don’t have the luxury to dismiss or ignore this topic – or water it down.
I wish I had done some research on the harmful effects of porn on the women who are involved. These girls who get caught in the porn industry end up becoming hollow shells of themselves. In Kyle Idleman’s series I mentioned earlier, the guy taking the photos explained what happened to these young women. At first, they are excited to make a bunch of money. But sooner or later, the light in their eyes goes out. Their souls have died. Obviously, they are in bondage – and honestly, this is equivalent to sexual abuse!
Another point is that these girls often sign up for the more innocent stuff – or soft porn. But as they continue in the profession, they are forced to do more things that they never wanted to do in the first place. It is put in their contract – and if they refuse, they can be sued for everything they have. They are forced to commit sex acts that they do not want to do. And when we look at porn, we are supporting this form of abuse.
And, of course, there is information out there that explains the harmful effects on consumers of porn. I wish I had known these things before porn entered our family.
I wish I had been more knowledgeable with Internet restrictions. I thought we were doing well with it. But I should have educated myself better and kept up with it. We had filters up on devices. Restrictions set. We had these things in place. But it wasn’t enough. Remember, our kids are targets and our enemy is stealthy. He will find a way to get to our kids if we do not keep up with the latest technologies, apps, loopholes, etc.
There are other precautions you can take if you do a little research of your own. But nothing can replace a trusting relationship between parent and child – a relationship where your broken, sin-tied child can come to you and know that you will lead them to the Cross of Jesus for healing, redemption, and restoration.
To Raise Godly Girls means that we are prepared to fight for our daughters regardless of the cost.
But What If It Is Too Late?
My friend, it is never too late to rescue your child. If you have recently discovered that your child has stumbled upon porn, please get this free pdf on how to walk through this season with your child. I pray it encourages you and soothes your broken heart as you journey through this difficult season. And yes, you can still Raise Godly Girls even if they have fallen into the pit of porn.
ARE YOU A BOY MOM?
When it comes to electronic devices in this socially driven world, what are the risks? Should we even let our kids have them at all? What about porn and other traps of the enemy? It is easy to think because we are raising Godly boys up right and teaching them right from wrong that they will be okay and make wise decisions.
∞ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ∞
Aimee is a home educating support teacher who lives in the sunny Okanagan, BC. Aimee has been blissfully married since 1998 and she still swoons at the sight of her tall, dark and handsome husband, Marcus. When she isn’t home educating her 3 kids, she enjoys sewing, quilting, scrapbooking, baking, writing and hanging out with her family. Aimee is a certified teacher who works from home, supporting and encouraging homeschool families. She blogs over at A Work of Grace. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.