Why Don’t I Want My Daughter to Have Self-Esteem?

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I know, it sounds awful right? I don’t want my daughter to have self-esteem.

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Why would a mom who claims to have a passion for equipping tween girl’s hearts say something like that?

Why wouldn’t she want to teach her daughters to have self-esteem?

Simply put, I believe God has something greater in store for them!

When we focus on selfesteem we are looking to ourselves for the answer to some core questions. Heart-based concerns that God, our creator, has already answered.

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We’re asking questions like how should I feel about myself? What do I think of myself? What is my self-worth? Do I have true value?


The very definition of selfesteem is a confidence or satisfaction in oneself. It’s a belief and confidence in our own ability and value.


When we focus on self-esteem we are often swayed by our emotions, social media likes, test scores or how we look in our new outfit.

But what do we see in scripture? We see time and time again that God wants us to know who we are in Him (Ephesians 2:10).

Why Don't I want my daughter to have self esteem


We are to look to His word to find out what He says about us (Titus 3:4-7). How He created us (Psalm 139:13-16) and what He says of our value – as we are His (Isaiah 43:1).

We can know deep in our hearts how much He loves His children (John 1:12) and that we can do anything through Christ (Philippians 4:13) who strengthens us.

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These are all things He wants to show us as we grow in our relationship with Him. He wants us to become fully confident in who we are in Christ. 

God, who created us, gets to determine our value.

Not the world around us or our own thoughts.

The one who knows us better than we know ourselves tells us of our great worth in Christ! This is good news! So why wouldn’t I want to teach my daughters to look to Him for their worth as well?

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I want to equip them to discover who they are in Christ and to learn to make decisions based off of God’s word not of themselves (Proverbs 3:5-6). I can teach them to not be afraid because God is always with them (Isaiah 41:10) Our God who can do ALL things!

Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

I continue to pray that they would be humble, valuing others over themselves but deeply rooted, knowing there are valued by God even more than I can fathom! I ache for them to believe with their whole heart Psalm 139 – that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.

But how do we do this Mom? How do we equip them to find their true identity and purpose in Christ?

I believe I have a tool to help! As I have walked through this with our daughters and talked with other #tweengirlmoms  I’ve noticed something. There are a few important tools we can equip them with. Ones that can help them begin to know their true identity and purpose in Christ.



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The 4 tools are Prayer, Scripture Memorization, Practical Application, and Open Conversation.

I’ve taken these tools and created a course for all of our tween girls.

Girls Created to Shine is a 12-week Course in God’s Word + Today’s Issues + Hands-on Application

  • This course will help you teach your tween girl by topic but remains deeply rooted in God’s word.
  • It’s designed to address real-life struggles and questions they face today.
  • It will save you time. All the prep work is done for you so you can teach and share from the heart.
  • You follow a simple repeated format and have ideas for questions to ask and answers so you don’t get stuck while teaching.
  • You can teach this even if you don’t have a lot of scripture knowledge! It’s all laid out for you to dig into and learn together.

Girls Created to Shine is completely based on heart care and the principle of Proverbs 4:23

For everything you do flows from the heart.


Limited Time Offer:

Get $10 OFF Your Copy of

Girls Created To Shine!

A 12 Week Course Now For $17.95!!

Use Code ’10FORYOURGIRL’ at checkout to receive your discount.

Come and find out all of the details here and grab your FREE Lesson on How to Handle Changing Emotions!


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Let’s start building up our girls Biblically, one heart at a time! Join me??


Don't Miss Out. Purchase Your Copy Today!


Joining you in the in be’tween,


O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life. Lamentations 3:56



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